Straightforward Words from a Straightforward Boy

This conversation took place yesterday:

Max: Dad, can I talk to you?

Me: Sure, buddy.

Max: There are three things I know about you, Dad.

Me: Yeah?

Max: Your skin is the same color as mine.

Me: True.

Max: You have blue eyes.

Me: Yes.

Max: And some of your teeth are green.


Suddenly dental hygiene became a higher priority . . .

Whither Joy and Slavery?

Welcome to "Wherever I Am," the blog formerly known as "Joy and Slavery," which was formerly known as "The Lazy Logician." Back when I started the first incarnation of this blog I wanted to focus on philosophical issues with occasional forays into every day life topics. I did that for a while, but my interests shifted to theology. In the interest of appropriate signage I changed the blog to "Joy and Slavery," which I took to be a "theologically friendly" title. A friend told me it sounded a bit more like a blog for masochists, but the title hung around until this year.

After graduating from seminary (and failing to get into an MFA program) I realized that I had a problem: my interests are too diverse. I kept waiting for something to hook me and keep me forever, but now I realize it's not going to happen. There is no ONE THING that will be my eternal writing topic.

I like fiction, but I also like essays. I like theology, but I also like philosophy. I like football, indie rock, comic books, serious lit, etc. I suppose most of us are like this, but I needed this blog to be a place where I could feel free to write on any of those topics.

So the name change happened. The title "Wherever I Am" can be taken in a few ways.
First, the "Wherever I Am" could be interpreted as allowing a day-to-day topic shift. I'll write from wherever I happen to "be" mentally that day. There is, however, a sort of back door theological reference some of you may have noticed.

In Exodus 3 the Lord told Moses to that his name was "I AM." The second way to think of the blog's new title is to stick a comma in the middle. "Wherever, I AM." In other words, I don't know where you're taking me, but that's where I want to go, Lord.

And that's the way I want to live life: pursuing the interests that God has given me with his direction serving as the backbone.

So, wherever I am I say, "Wherever, I AM."

Still More Applications

I completed a cluster of applications over the Christmas/New Year's holiday season. The candidates are:

Indiana University






















Another Big 10 school not quite in the top tier, but very close. In terms of program quality and funds, Indiana would be tough to turn down. Not that I would turn them down . . . it would just be tough.


UNC-Greensboro

UNC-Greensboro is a good solid program. The funding is good, though not every student gets a stipend as I understand it, and I have heard very good things about the atmosphere cultivated there. It's also much closer to the beach than we have ever lived, so Mary Ann would be pleased with that.

The University of Michigan

Michigan ranks up there with the best of the best in the MFA world. Another tough admit for me, but it doesn't hurt to apply, right?


Washington University in St. Louis
























'Wash U,' as it's known, is one of the best academic schools in the country. The MFA does not rank in the top tier, but is still highly regarded. They get fewer applicants, so that's good for me, and they're more known for poetry than fiction. That also works in my favor. It would also mean a mere cross-town move, so that would be less expensive.

University of Iowa


















The granddaddy of them all. The first Creative Writing MFA. Flannery O'Connor's MFA. The MFA that has the spectacular Marilynne Robinson on staff. I don't reckon I'd shred that acceptance letter if I got it.

Nearly there. Just a few applications left to go. Then it's that horrible waiting game.

Another Application Completed

Sent in another submission. Add this one to the list:


























Roll tide and stuff.

The Submissions have Begun

The first two applications are away.

UT-Austin

The Michener Center at Texas, my friends, is one of the most selective MFA programs in this good US of A. Few slots, lots of applicants. Texas is attractive for several reasons: you don't have to teach, the professors are quite good, and the stipend is absolutely unbelievable. Plus there is an excellent screenwriting program that I could basically 'minor' in.


The University of Illinois

Illinois is still in the 'up and coming' category as far as I know. They are one of the programs from the 'Big 10' that have cropped up in recent years and instantly made a splash. I feel like I stand a better chance here than Texas, but they are still fairly discriminating.

So that's it for now. Only 12 more programs to submit applications to. Easy as pie.

Max Duncan, Literary Giant

In case you're wondering, the previous post is indeed a story dictated by my story-tellin' son, Maxwell Isaiah Duncan. Getting into the family business already . . .

MFA Anxiety

Microsoft Office is downloading an update to the ol' computer. So I'm going to flex my writing muscles on the blog this morning. This has been a jam-packed semester, so blogging has been a low priority for the last couple of months. Now, though, I'm going to take advantage of this lull to blog about my anxieties. Hooray!!!

Things are going fairly well for my MFA application process at this point. The GRE is over and done with, I have two out of three people I need to recommend me, and I'm actually staying on top of the process. I have two stories I like and am working on a third. All of these are good.

However . . . I am constantly having to pray about the subjectivity of MFA admissions. You can write an excellent story, but if the wrong people don't like your stuff, you're out of luck. In a recent article in Poets and Writers Benjamin Percy (an excellent writer, in my opinion) mentioned that one of his stories was rejected for publication 39 times. Once it was finally published, Salman Rushdie picked it as an honorable mention for Best American Short Stories. That was a happy ending for Benjamin, but my mind keeps going back to the strong possibility that I won't have a 'Salman Rusdie.'

I suppose it's a good thing that these thoughts move me to pray, but I think it would be better to just not be anxious. "Be anxious for nothing" and all that. I think the anxiety rises from a few sources:

1. I've never been this uncertain about applying for anything. I was quite certain I would get into my undergrad schools and seminary. But for MFAs there are so many applicants and so few slots nationwide that the percentages are against me.

2. I've never wanted something as much as I want this, career-wise. This is the path I want to take, so not getting into the MFA would be a blow.

3. I don't have a good solid idea for what I would do in the immediate aftermath of 14 rejection letters. I reckon it would involve a hasty retreat to West Virginia, but what then? Apply again? Distance programs, maybe? What do I do in the meantime? I can teach, but how many jobs are there available for chaps like me?

All that said, I do have good reasons not to be anxious. I believe God called me in the direction of writing. That doesn't mean that I'm guaranteed an MFA slot, but it does mean that God is taking care of me. God surprises us sometimes (surprise, Paul! You've been bitten by a venomous snake!) but then he surprises again with his deliverance (the venom won't harm you. Surprise again!).

Thanks, God. I feel better.

Still Pluggin' Away

Just another productivity report:

I've been waking up at 5:30 am this week. On purpose. Mary Ann and I have been struggling to find a good time for me to write these days, and I think this is the best solution. I've tried to do the late night thing; it seems the more 'writerly' thing to do, right? Writers are supposed to stay up late to drink and be tortured by their demons. Unfortunately (?), my demons kept standing me up, so Mary Ann and I broke with our 1-2AM tradition and started hitting the sack at 11:00. Since then things hve gone much better in the writing department.

A Breakfast Tragedy

I went to open my cereal this morning--a new box. Carefully, I pushed my finger underneath the cardboard tab. I gingerly scooted said finger to the right, in order to preserve the integrity of the cardboard tab. It helps in the resealing process.

But, as you might predict, my efforts were fruitless. My finger tore through that fragile box top as though passing through the air unimpeded. My cereal is compromised.

And THAT, my friends, is how you know that General Mills hates you.

Writerly Frustrations

If I could just write 1000 good words a day, I would be so happy that I would wet not just my pants, but everyone else's too.

Joshua Duncan: Now with Productivity!!

It's only just June and already I feel like I've had a full summer. For one thing, I've been working a lot these days. Relatively speaking, I guess. My hours still don't equal full time employment. Still, it's more than I've worked (outside of class) since I got here. It's taken up a lot of time I would have liked to use for other good things (GRE study, writing, family time). But enough of the whiny stuff!

One great thing about this summer is the amount of time I've had to actually write--and the fact that I've utilized that time to do so. I've written the first couple of installments of the webcomic I'm doing with Rex Queems, and he e-mailed me today to express his excitement with them. That's always a bonus.

Not only that, but I've actually finished a story. An eleven pager, no less! I know of writers who could weave an eleven pager before breakfast, but nearly everything I've written fiction-wise has been fairly short. There were one or two longer pieces, but they got clunky and are in need of a good trim. So eleven pages is a good length for me. It gets me over halfway to a number of the page requirements for MFA applications as well, so that's bonus number two.

It's quite nice. After failing to write anything in the early months of this year I've made serious headway on a couple of long-standing projects. It's really a lovely feeling. I'm seriously reconsidering my love affair with procrastination.

"It's not you, sweetheart. It's me."

I like the sound of that.

Is Something Wrong With Me?

Mary Ann and I just watched the Tonys. Yes, the Tonys. That's the award show for plays and musicals and such. I can count the number of plays I've seen in my life on one hand. Maybe two if you count my elementary school glee club musicals. Why, then, did I watch the Tonys, which featured many people I've never heard of in my life? Dunno.

I liked it, though.

Except for the bit from Hair. I mean, I get it. Hippies were the greatest people ever. Can we move on now?

I Didn't Even Have to Use My AK . . .

I'd have to say it was a good couple of days.

My goodness, it feels good to sit down at the computer and write. Blogging is fun and all, but I'm not passionate about it like I am about fiction (as evidenced by this being only the fourth post this month). It has been sooo sweet. So sweet, in fact that I'm going to describe it to you.

DAY ONE:

I got a bit of a late start in the morning. Still working out the kinks in the schedule. Still, I sat down and worked on VFO. I actually sat down and worked on Vintage Furniture and Oddities for the first time in ages. It was all character background and concept development, but it was a lot of fun and it's pushing me in the right direction. I don't want to start a project like this without understanding my characters or having a decent plan as to where I'm going.

As an aside, I think that's been one of the problem's I've had with VFO. It started as a writing excercise I gave myself. I wanted to write 500 words and make up the story as a I went along. That became a problem once Rex Queems and I talked about doing VFO together. It was no longer a thing I could play with whenever I want and with no pressure. But those days are over! Developing the concept in more detail was nigh unto exhilerating.

Then I ate lunch.

After lunch, Day One took a downward turn. I worked for a couple of hours on the stuff I want to use for my MFA writing sample. HORROR. I couldn't write a word. "Come On, Casper" didn't flow at all. I actually tried my hand at a bunch of the stories I have unfinished on my laptop. Nothing. That was a discouraging afternoon.

DAY TWO:

I decided to do "Come On, Casper" in the morning this time, hoping that my mind would be a bit more fresh. What I didn't realize, though, was that the 'freshness' wasn't the issue. The issue was that I was so worried about theme and structure that I got stymied. I've been reading John Gardner's On Becoming a Novelist, and it really helped remind me that I was primarily doing this to tell stories. After that, a new direction for the story emerged and I worked happily through the morning.

Lunch again!

More VFO in the afternoon, and it just kept getting better. I got a handle on something that will be integral to the storyline; something that will provide direction and (I hope) suspense as the strip continues. Hopefully I'll be able to actually get to some of the writing soon. Anyway, day two was excellent.

DAY THREE:

Day three was a bit of a problem because I had to do some work this morning. That meant the morning session was out so we could get school and everything in.

And lunch.

The afternoon was truncated as well because I had a work meeting, but once that meeting ended I got right to it. I decided to go with "Come On Casper" rather than VFO because I wanted to keep yesterday's juices flowing. Happily, the story continued very well. I'm not cranking out tons of pages, but the story is moving along and I like the language and the direction (right now at least . . . ask me again tomorrow).

Tomorrow will be DAY FOUR. I'll miss the morning session again, but I'm looking forward to another couple of productive hours tomorrow afternoon. It'll be VFO, I think, so I can keep things moving.

Creating makes me happy. Doing that for a living . . . that would be a beautiful life.

The Rich, the Vivid, and the Beautiful: Priorities in Reading and MFAs

A friend of mine recently made his Facebook status something like, "You know you're a nerd if, once you've finished your semester, your first thought is, 'what books can I read now?" I laughed because that was exactly what thought I when I was walking away from my last final this semester. I have a long list of novels and short story collections that await my attention.

I started getting back into The Best American Short Stories of the Century before the semester actually ended. I'm still dedicated to reading through in order, and I've only just hit the 1940s. I enjoy getting samples of some of the best authors of the 20th Century in such a quick succession. Somehow it satisfies my truncated 21st Century attention span. You'd think the short story would be more popular these days, but I guess no matter how much you shorten a story it's still not a video game.

Another book I've given a second shot is Marilynne Robinson's Housekeeping. I bought it last year at the Trinity Arts Conference because I enjoyed Gilead, but for some reason I got bogged down early with Housekeeping. It fell by the wayside and I moved on to other things.

Later, as readers of this blog are well aware, I began sorting through MFA programs. The list has changed repeatedly, but an early entry was the University of Iowa, where Marilynne Robinson teaches. Like Housekeeping, though, Iowa fell by the wayside. I wasn't sure about funding, so I took it off my list.

Recently, however, a couple of factors combined to put Iowa back on my list. First, I reread The Creative Writing MFA Handbook, and the ever-helpful Seth Abramson wrote that at Iowa they do whatever they can to make sure their students have the funding they need. That doesn't guarantee fully paid tuition and a stipend, but it means that there's at least a chance. So the money question was answered.

The other factor was a brief conversation I had with Jerram Barrs about MFA programs after class one day this past semester. It wasn't a momentous thing; he just pointed out that Marilyn Robinson was the head of the program there and that she was a Christian. I realized I that in the quest for funding I had lost sight of something important: A place for connection. I don't reckon Marilynne Robinson is in the PCA or anything, but there is a definite worldview connection there. I felt it when I read Gilead. I happily added Iowa back to my list.

My renewed interest in Iowa and Marilyn Robinson lead me to a renewed interest in Housekeeping (the book, not the activity). I began reading, and I have had a much different experience this time. I think I must have been impatient with it last year. Most of the fiction I enjoy conjures vivid images in my imagination, but Housekeeping does that less often. I am on chapter five and the images of the characters are still developing in my head. That is usually not the case for me, and it would normally drive me away from a book, but the treasure in Robinson's writing does not lie in the vivid image as much as the beautiful sentence. The story is compelling, but the joy of staying with Robinson is the unusually lovely turns of phrase she uses. It's makes for a slow read, but it's worth the time. Why run through the forest when you can stroll, touch the trees, and smell the growing greenness around you?

So thanks to Marilynne Robinson, for reminding me that there's more to an MFA than funding. And thanks for helping me understand that there's more to reading than the vivid image. Thanks from the bottom of my slightly-less-truncated 21st Century attention span.

This is How the Semester Ends . . .

I took my OT History Books test today. That means that I officially have one more year to go at Covenant Theological Seminary. I'm gearing up for a busy summer, so pray for us!

The To Do List:

1. Get a good writing sample ready
2. Take the GRE
3. Find three people to be references for me
4. Write VFO webcomic with Rex Queems
5. Make some rent money somehow

And finally . . .

6. Actually be there when, y'know, my wife has our fourth child

OK, so six things doesn't sound that big, but most of these aren't 'one-off' type things. I'll keep everyone posted.

One Last April Post

I'm entering the home stretch. The semester will be over soon, and I will be one year closer to finishing my MDiv. Then comes the summer, in which I will apply to MFA programs and play the most painful waiting game I've ever played . . . g'night.

Children's Lit and the Loveliness of Trees

Have you ever found yourself in the midst of the semester, an avalanche of assignments hurtling at you, but you only have the desire to work on one of them? I think this might be the first time I've had that experience, since I usually don't want to work on any of them.

The assignment in question is the one from my Children's Lit class. I'm writing and illustrating a story for my boys and I am thoroughly enjoying working the story out in my head. I don't want to tell the story yet, but it has (of course) given me a million ideas that I could incorporate. I'm going to have trouble keeping the story as small as it should be, I think.

I've done some preliminary drawings for the story as well, and it has revealed some of the deficiencies in my art. In particular, I have trouble with trees. I've always found people more interesting and more fun to draw than anything else: trees, animals, buildings, cars, what have you. This has lead me to attend to the actual trees around campus, and I've found that . . . well . . . they're quite beautiful. I mean, I've always loved springtime its flowers, summer's warm greenness, and the spectacular splashes of color that come with autumn.

But it's winter now. The trees are brown and bare, but they're still quite beautiful.

In the yard by the playground stand two white birch towers, with their branches forked like lightning . . .

Out my living room/office window a shaggy barked tree is lined with narrow branches, jutting out like bony fingers . . .

Near Founders hall are two trees standing like old friends, their tops bent back and branches to the sky in praise of God . . .

I guess I had lived under the illusion that trees are basically the same, but the variety is amazing, even among trees of the same species. What makes the trunk divide in two when it does? Why do the branches bend and twist where they do?

So while anyone can appreciate a tree covered with foliage, I encourage you: don't stop there. Love a leafless tree.

Bare is beautiful.

A Mini-Meditation on Writing

I should be doing something productive right now, but I'm not. I'm blogging. It's not that I think blogging is a waste of time; it's more like I have a number of things I could be doing. Like school reading. Paper writing. Heck, I could even be watching Princess Mononoke, which I rented today. At least that would get my imagination going.

I'm a big fan of the imagination. I guess that's why I keep wanting to add elements to the story I'm writing for Children's Lit this semester. It began as a straightforward LotR-esque adventure story, but as I've thought more and more about it--and watched a few Miyazaki movies--I've wanted to expand the world. I want to crack open the top of my head (metaphorically) and build a world that amazes. I don't want to populate a fantasy world with elves and dwarves and orcs, though there's nothing wrong with doing that. I want to bend categories. I want to invent critters that hang in the imagination long after you've read their stories. I want to blend the stuff of differing historical eras into one and make it seem as natural as breathing. That, to me, sounds exciting.

I haven't abandoned adult fiction, though. "Come on Casper" is still in the works. It's just not something I'm working on for a class these days. That story is a different kind of challenge. It's more about structure and getting the language just right . . . not giving away too much before the end of the story, etc. Of course, as I typed that, I recognized that children's lit requires all that too. I just don't get to 'play around' as much with "Come on Casper."

Is it less fun then? Yes and no. It's not a blast like inventing monsters and other whimsical doodads, but there's an intense pleasure that comes from actually constructing a story and using structural elements to guide the reader when the subject matter doesn't make reading the story 'fun.' That's what I like about adult lit. Still, though, I plan on incorporating the fantastic into my 'serious' adult fiction later. I just have to figure out how to work it out.

OK. Time to be productive.

PCA Churches in MFA Towns

One of the factors we need to consider in choosing an MFA is how we like the location, and a big part of that depends on what kind of churches the community has. We've been in the PCA for a couple of years now, so if I could find a good one in the MFA program's community that would be a big plus. Here's how they stack up.

1. UT-Austin-Austin has five PCA churches: CrossPointe, All Saints, Redeemer, Christ the King, and Choongmanhan. Lots of choice there.
2. Syracuse-No PCA presence. A friend told me that there is an OPC presence, but we probably don't want to move in a more conservative direction.
3. Purdue-Two Cities serves Lafayette and West Lafayette.
4. Indiana-No PCA presence in Bloomington. I may do some research to see if any of the PCA churches are within driving distance.
5. Notre Dame-Michiana Covenant Church is in South Bend
6. Alabama-Trinity and Riverwood serve Tuscaloosa
7. UNC-Greensboro-Friendly Hills, Summer Oaks, Spring Garden.
8. Ohio State-Grace Central Presbyterian Mission is in Columbus.
9. Florida-Gainesville has Faith Presbyterian and Christ Community
10. Penn State-Found nothing in College Park, but again I don't know what towns are within driving distance.
11. Wisconsin-Lake Trails and Madison Sah-Lang
12. Minnesota-No PCA churches in Minneapolis/St. Paul
13. Illinois All Souls in Champaign-Urbana
14. Iowa-One Ancient Hope Mission Church

Of course, even if the town has a PCA church/churches that tells us nothing about the vitality of that/those church(es). That will take a bit more research, and may be best left for a time after I get accepted to one of these programs. If I get accepted.

One Clean Slate with a Heaping Tablespoon of Uncertainty

Clean slate, folks. We have a new year to muck around in. I usually don't make a big deal about the new year (after all, it is technically just another day), but I feel a bit different today. There's something about having a specific goal for the year that changes my perspective. I know I have a lot of work to do for the MFA applications, and I know it has to be good work. I can't work on my writing sample with, say, the same forethought and effort I give to these blog posts. Nor can I let the MFA requirements slip for a month or ten. Procrastination is not an option this year. With the the number of application fees I'll have to pay, I can't afford to wait and do them all at once.

Then there's the GRE. My general impression is that the GRE doesn't matter much for the MFA programs themselves, but the grad schools in general require them. So I'll need to study for that. The GRE has double the pressure, though, because I have to beat my brother's score, and he hasn't left me much wiggle room. Right bro? Seriously, this test is a big deal. There's at least the possibility that my score could be a tie-breaker between me and an equally qualified candidate.

The more I think about it, the more I feel like a high school senior applying to some top colleges. When I applied to college I had no doubt I would get in to my schools of choice. Marshall University and Tri-State Bible College are fairly non-competetive. I was even confident about getting in here at the seminary. Covenant is a good school, but it's not primarily a scholar's seminary. Now, on the other hand, I'm applying to schools that are among the best in the field. That means I'll be up against the best writing students in the nation. If it was just a standardized test, I wouldn't worry about it so much, but writing is more subjective. Add to that the fact that I don't have a good sense of what quality of work I can do consistently, and my consternation increases.

So hopefully in the next few months I can crank out a couple of perfect 10 stories, which will then lead to me getting into every program I apply to. Then I can stroll onto campus as a superstar, and writing success will inevitably follow. That's how it works, right?