Still More Applications

I completed a cluster of applications over the Christmas/New Year's holiday season. The candidates are:

Indiana University






















Another Big 10 school not quite in the top tier, but very close. In terms of program quality and funds, Indiana would be tough to turn down. Not that I would turn them down . . . it would just be tough.


UNC-Greensboro

UNC-Greensboro is a good solid program. The funding is good, though not every student gets a stipend as I understand it, and I have heard very good things about the atmosphere cultivated there. It's also much closer to the beach than we have ever lived, so Mary Ann would be pleased with that.

The University of Michigan

Michigan ranks up there with the best of the best in the MFA world. Another tough admit for me, but it doesn't hurt to apply, right?


Washington University in St. Louis
























'Wash U,' as it's known, is one of the best academic schools in the country. The MFA does not rank in the top tier, but is still highly regarded. They get fewer applicants, so that's good for me, and they're more known for poetry than fiction. That also works in my favor. It would also mean a mere cross-town move, so that would be less expensive.

University of Iowa


















The granddaddy of them all. The first Creative Writing MFA. Flannery O'Connor's MFA. The MFA that has the spectacular Marilynne Robinson on staff. I don't reckon I'd shred that acceptance letter if I got it.

Nearly there. Just a few applications left to go. Then it's that horrible waiting game.

Another Application Completed

Sent in another submission. Add this one to the list:


























Roll tide and stuff.

The Submissions have Begun

The first two applications are away.

UT-Austin

The Michener Center at Texas, my friends, is one of the most selective MFA programs in this good US of A. Few slots, lots of applicants. Texas is attractive for several reasons: you don't have to teach, the professors are quite good, and the stipend is absolutely unbelievable. Plus there is an excellent screenwriting program that I could basically 'minor' in.


The University of Illinois

Illinois is still in the 'up and coming' category as far as I know. They are one of the programs from the 'Big 10' that have cropped up in recent years and instantly made a splash. I feel like I stand a better chance here than Texas, but they are still fairly discriminating.

So that's it for now. Only 12 more programs to submit applications to. Easy as pie.

MFA Anxiety

Microsoft Office is downloading an update to the ol' computer. So I'm going to flex my writing muscles on the blog this morning. This has been a jam-packed semester, so blogging has been a low priority for the last couple of months. Now, though, I'm going to take advantage of this lull to blog about my anxieties. Hooray!!!

Things are going fairly well for my MFA application process at this point. The GRE is over and done with, I have two out of three people I need to recommend me, and I'm actually staying on top of the process. I have two stories I like and am working on a third. All of these are good.

However . . . I am constantly having to pray about the subjectivity of MFA admissions. You can write an excellent story, but if the wrong people don't like your stuff, you're out of luck. In a recent article in Poets and Writers Benjamin Percy (an excellent writer, in my opinion) mentioned that one of his stories was rejected for publication 39 times. Once it was finally published, Salman Rushdie picked it as an honorable mention for Best American Short Stories. That was a happy ending for Benjamin, but my mind keeps going back to the strong possibility that I won't have a 'Salman Rusdie.'

I suppose it's a good thing that these thoughts move me to pray, but I think it would be better to just not be anxious. "Be anxious for nothing" and all that. I think the anxiety rises from a few sources:

1. I've never been this uncertain about applying for anything. I was quite certain I would get into my undergrad schools and seminary. But for MFAs there are so many applicants and so few slots nationwide that the percentages are against me.

2. I've never wanted something as much as I want this, career-wise. This is the path I want to take, so not getting into the MFA would be a blow.

3. I don't have a good solid idea for what I would do in the immediate aftermath of 14 rejection letters. I reckon it would involve a hasty retreat to West Virginia, but what then? Apply again? Distance programs, maybe? What do I do in the meantime? I can teach, but how many jobs are there available for chaps like me?

All that said, I do have good reasons not to be anxious. I believe God called me in the direction of writing. That doesn't mean that I'm guaranteed an MFA slot, but it does mean that God is taking care of me. God surprises us sometimes (surprise, Paul! You've been bitten by a venomous snake!) but then he surprises again with his deliverance (the venom won't harm you. Surprise again!).

Thanks, God. I feel better.

The Time Draws Near, The Writer Readies Himself . . . Kinda . . .

MFA application season approaches. I still don't feel like I have a great writing sample, but I've come to the conclusion I never will. I will never feel like I have written well enough until I get an acceptance letter, and even then I'll think, "whew, I snuck one past them." That's the trouble with finding your self-image as a writer in the opinions of others.

Honestly, I do think the stories I've written are good. The fact that not everyone agrees highlights the subjective nature of reading fiction. That's what makes me nervous about MFA applications. I can't be guaranteed a spot by just getting a certain score on the GRE (which I still need to take). I've been recently that I will just stop worrying about others opinions (within reason) and write what I believe God is leading to write.

The good news for today is that I finished the first draft of "Miracles for Americans." It needs a lot of work, but it's good to actually get to the end of a story. It's my longest story so far, coming in at 19 pages and around 7200 words, but I'm hoping to lop a bit of that off. So I'll be editing that and taking another pass at "Come on, Casper" to look over some changes I made a month or two ago. Hopefully I'll be able to communicate the humor I intended in"Miracles." I haven't had a lot of experience at humor writing, so we'll see how that goes. It'll never be a laugh riot, but I think it will have a lighter tone than "Casper."

Joshua Duncan: Now with Productivity!!

It's only just June and already I feel like I've had a full summer. For one thing, I've been working a lot these days. Relatively speaking, I guess. My hours still don't equal full time employment. Still, it's more than I've worked (outside of class) since I got here. It's taken up a lot of time I would have liked to use for other good things (GRE study, writing, family time). But enough of the whiny stuff!

One great thing about this summer is the amount of time I've had to actually write--and the fact that I've utilized that time to do so. I've written the first couple of installments of the webcomic I'm doing with Rex Queems, and he e-mailed me today to express his excitement with them. That's always a bonus.

Not only that, but I've actually finished a story. An eleven pager, no less! I know of writers who could weave an eleven pager before breakfast, but nearly everything I've written fiction-wise has been fairly short. There were one or two longer pieces, but they got clunky and are in need of a good trim. So eleven pages is a good length for me. It gets me over halfway to a number of the page requirements for MFA applications as well, so that's bonus number two.

It's quite nice. After failing to write anything in the early months of this year I've made serious headway on a couple of long-standing projects. It's really a lovely feeling. I'm seriously reconsidering my love affair with procrastination.

"It's not you, sweetheart. It's me."

I like the sound of that.

The Rich, the Vivid, and the Beautiful: Priorities in Reading and MFAs

A friend of mine recently made his Facebook status something like, "You know you're a nerd if, once you've finished your semester, your first thought is, 'what books can I read now?" I laughed because that was exactly what thought I when I was walking away from my last final this semester. I have a long list of novels and short story collections that await my attention.

I started getting back into The Best American Short Stories of the Century before the semester actually ended. I'm still dedicated to reading through in order, and I've only just hit the 1940s. I enjoy getting samples of some of the best authors of the 20th Century in such a quick succession. Somehow it satisfies my truncated 21st Century attention span. You'd think the short story would be more popular these days, but I guess no matter how much you shorten a story it's still not a video game.

Another book I've given a second shot is Marilynne Robinson's Housekeeping. I bought it last year at the Trinity Arts Conference because I enjoyed Gilead, but for some reason I got bogged down early with Housekeeping. It fell by the wayside and I moved on to other things.

Later, as readers of this blog are well aware, I began sorting through MFA programs. The list has changed repeatedly, but an early entry was the University of Iowa, where Marilynne Robinson teaches. Like Housekeeping, though, Iowa fell by the wayside. I wasn't sure about funding, so I took it off my list.

Recently, however, a couple of factors combined to put Iowa back on my list. First, I reread The Creative Writing MFA Handbook, and the ever-helpful Seth Abramson wrote that at Iowa they do whatever they can to make sure their students have the funding they need. That doesn't guarantee fully paid tuition and a stipend, but it means that there's at least a chance. So the money question was answered.

The other factor was a brief conversation I had with Jerram Barrs about MFA programs after class one day this past semester. It wasn't a momentous thing; he just pointed out that Marilyn Robinson was the head of the program there and that she was a Christian. I realized I that in the quest for funding I had lost sight of something important: A place for connection. I don't reckon Marilynne Robinson is in the PCA or anything, but there is a definite worldview connection there. I felt it when I read Gilead. I happily added Iowa back to my list.

My renewed interest in Iowa and Marilyn Robinson lead me to a renewed interest in Housekeeping (the book, not the activity). I began reading, and I have had a much different experience this time. I think I must have been impatient with it last year. Most of the fiction I enjoy conjures vivid images in my imagination, but Housekeeping does that less often. I am on chapter five and the images of the characters are still developing in my head. That is usually not the case for me, and it would normally drive me away from a book, but the treasure in Robinson's writing does not lie in the vivid image as much as the beautiful sentence. The story is compelling, but the joy of staying with Robinson is the unusually lovely turns of phrase she uses. It's makes for a slow read, but it's worth the time. Why run through the forest when you can stroll, touch the trees, and smell the growing greenness around you?

So thanks to Marilynne Robinson, for reminding me that there's more to an MFA than funding. And thanks for helping me understand that there's more to reading than the vivid image. Thanks from the bottom of my slightly-less-truncated 21st Century attention span.

This is How the Semester Ends . . .

I took my OT History Books test today. That means that I officially have one more year to go at Covenant Theological Seminary. I'm gearing up for a busy summer, so pray for us!

The To Do List:

1. Get a good writing sample ready
2. Take the GRE
3. Find three people to be references for me
4. Write VFO webcomic with Rex Queems
5. Make some rent money somehow

And finally . . .

6. Actually be there when, y'know, my wife has our fourth child

OK, so six things doesn't sound that big, but most of these aren't 'one-off' type things. I'll keep everyone posted.

One Last April Post

I'm entering the home stretch. The semester will be over soon, and I will be one year closer to finishing my MDiv. Then comes the summer, in which I will apply to MFA programs and play the most painful waiting game I've ever played . . . g'night.

PCA Churches in MFA Towns

One of the factors we need to consider in choosing an MFA is how we like the location, and a big part of that depends on what kind of churches the community has. We've been in the PCA for a couple of years now, so if I could find a good one in the MFA program's community that would be a big plus. Here's how they stack up.

1. UT-Austin-Austin has five PCA churches: CrossPointe, All Saints, Redeemer, Christ the King, and Choongmanhan. Lots of choice there.
2. Syracuse-No PCA presence. A friend told me that there is an OPC presence, but we probably don't want to move in a more conservative direction.
3. Purdue-Two Cities serves Lafayette and West Lafayette.
4. Indiana-No PCA presence in Bloomington. I may do some research to see if any of the PCA churches are within driving distance.
5. Notre Dame-Michiana Covenant Church is in South Bend
6. Alabama-Trinity and Riverwood serve Tuscaloosa
7. UNC-Greensboro-Friendly Hills, Summer Oaks, Spring Garden.
8. Ohio State-Grace Central Presbyterian Mission is in Columbus.
9. Florida-Gainesville has Faith Presbyterian and Christ Community
10. Penn State-Found nothing in College Park, but again I don't know what towns are within driving distance.
11. Wisconsin-Lake Trails and Madison Sah-Lang
12. Minnesota-No PCA churches in Minneapolis/St. Paul
13. Illinois All Souls in Champaign-Urbana
14. Iowa-One Ancient Hope Mission Church

Of course, even if the town has a PCA church/churches that tells us nothing about the vitality of that/those church(es). That will take a bit more research, and may be best left for a time after I get accepted to one of these programs. If I get accepted.

One Clean Slate with a Heaping Tablespoon of Uncertainty

Clean slate, folks. We have a new year to muck around in. I usually don't make a big deal about the new year (after all, it is technically just another day), but I feel a bit different today. There's something about having a specific goal for the year that changes my perspective. I know I have a lot of work to do for the MFA applications, and I know it has to be good work. I can't work on my writing sample with, say, the same forethought and effort I give to these blog posts. Nor can I let the MFA requirements slip for a month or ten. Procrastination is not an option this year. With the the number of application fees I'll have to pay, I can't afford to wait and do them all at once.

Then there's the GRE. My general impression is that the GRE doesn't matter much for the MFA programs themselves, but the grad schools in general require them. So I'll need to study for that. The GRE has double the pressure, though, because I have to beat my brother's score, and he hasn't left me much wiggle room. Right bro? Seriously, this test is a big deal. There's at least the possibility that my score could be a tie-breaker between me and an equally qualified candidate.

The more I think about it, the more I feel like a high school senior applying to some top colleges. When I applied to college I had no doubt I would get in to my schools of choice. Marshall University and Tri-State Bible College are fairly non-competetive. I was even confident about getting in here at the seminary. Covenant is a good school, but it's not primarily a scholar's seminary. Now, on the other hand, I'm applying to schools that are among the best in the field. That means I'll be up against the best writing students in the nation. If it was just a standardized test, I wouldn't worry about it so much, but writing is more subjective. Add to that the fact that I don't have a good sense of what quality of work I can do consistently, and my consternation increases.

So hopefully in the next few months I can crank out a couple of perfect 10 stories, which will then lead to me getting into every program I apply to. Then I can stroll onto campus as a superstar, and writing success will inevitably follow. That's how it works, right?

2008=Set Up, 2009=Rising Action

2008 is gasping, wheezing as he stumbles toward his rest. The earth has been turned, his grave awaits. That is to say, the year's up. Pencil's down, class. So, to continue with the test image, did we pass or fail? I think 2008 will go down as a year in which I really acheived something. That's right, in 2008 I blogged more than I have in any previous year. This makes post 62, whereas my previous high was 59. High fives all around.

Seriously, 2008 has been a fairly productive year for me. In 2008 I decided to pursue an MFA in creative writing. In 2008 Mary Ann and I conceived child #4. I had a decent academic year in 2008. On the other hand, I haven't done tons of writing this past year. That's a big problem, but I'll remedy that as early as possible in 2009, though. On the positive side of the writing ledger, I had positive responses to almost everyone I let read "Keep Thinking, Keep Moving".

Writing will play an increasingly large role in 2009. I've got to prepare for MFA applications, so I have to have a good writing sample, and I also want to get involved with some local writers in St. Louis to get some more good feedback. And heck, I'd like to get published a time or two as well. We'll see how that goes.

The MFA application process is the thing that looms largest on my horizon right now, though. I need to get the aforementioned writing sample shaped up, take the GRE, scare up some references, save up the cash for application fees, etc., etc . . .

Fortunately, I have a pretty good list of schools picked out. They are, in no particular order:

1. UT-Austin
2. Syracuse
3. Purdue
4. Indiana
5. Notre Dame
6. Alabama
7. UNC-Greensboro
8. Ohio State
9. Florida
10. Penn State
11. Wisconsin
12. Minnesota
13. Illinois
14. Iowa

I still have some research to do on some of those schools, and others of them I know I am unlikely to accept because they're the best. But I'm going to take a shot. As the list changes over the course of 2009, and as I get my applications sent off, I'll keep everyone posted.

The Contest is Dead, Long Live the Contest

So the big news of the week is that the Missouri Writers Guild Flash Fiction Contest has officially ended.  The winners have been announced, and I am not among them.  No cash prize, no honorable mention.  I'm definitely disappointed, but I'm not heartsick about it.  I was more disappointed, I think, before I remembered that I sent the unedited version of the story to the contest.  There were a lot of typographical errors, plus some slightly confusing language at the end of the story.  I guess that's why I was initially only hoping for an 'honorable mention' in the contest.

The aggravating thing about it, though, is that the story wasn't the best it could have been.  I'll never know how the story would have done if I had polished it more, tightened it up a bit.  That's the price I pay for waiting until the night of the deadline to do the bulk of the writing, though.  My fault.

On the other hand, I'm happy that the thing's over.  I can move on a bit more now.  I have other stories I can work on, and the contest had left me hamstrung.  Since it was my first real contest, I was too concerned with waiting on the results to move on.  That's a good lesson for me, I think.  I've got to keep plugging away and not worry about contests, or whether some magazine will accept my stuff for publication.  I think I felt this way because it was my first real contest.  Losing will be beneficial, though, because it will help me approach the rest of my writing with a greater eye toward detail.

The blow is also softened by the fact that I know I wrote a good story, so there's none of that "My writing is just crap and that's why I lost" attitude.  I've had good feedback on the story from all quarters, both from people who have a vested interest in me and those who don't know me from Adam.

I guess my next 'contest' needs to be developing a portfolio of good work that I can send to MFA programs.  I've got less than a year to develop 20-30 pages of butt-kickin' lit.  It's kind of scary.  20-30 pages doesn't seem like it should be that daunting, but it is because I haven't done it before.  I don't have 20-30 pages worth of completed material.  I can't let that bother me, though.

I must, as the French say, "Keep on truckin'."

Meeting With Dr. Calhoun

I met with one of my professors today.  Dr. David Calhoun is the freshly retired professor of Church History at Covenant Seminary, but he is continuing to teach.  Last semester I took the elective "Christianity and Imagination" to him, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  In fact, the class proved pivotal, helping me to decide what I want to do in the future.

I'm also taking Reformation and Modern Church History to Dr. Calhoun this summer, and I met with him after class today.  We'd been planning on that since the end of last semester, but this was the first chance we had to get together.  It was a good meeting.  His comments on my story were encouraging and his advice for me was helpful.  Beyond that, it was just nice to have a conversation with him.  He is one of the kindest men you could meet, and he understands what a writer needs to do in order to do good work.  I must say, I was a bit embarrassed by showing him some of the story's content.  It's not pornographic, nor does it have a Tarantino-like level of language and violence, but there is some cursing and a reference to a sexual situation.  Dr. Calhoun is a Flannery O'Connor fan, though, so he understands what it takes to craft a powerful story.  You have to deal with the warts of reality in a realistic way.

All in all, a good meeting.  He has encouraged me on my way toward pursuing an MFA, and he even said he saw that I had some talent.  Hopefully I can continue to develop said talent and write something that is worthwhile for both Christians and non-Christian.  He also advised me to continue to go to conferences and make contacts with people in the field.  It's nice when you get advised to do exactly what you wanted to do anyway . . .

A 'Creative' Future

As my faithful readers know, I have been fretting over the future here for a long time.  I have bounced between being a pastor and pursuing a PhD, probably in Moral Theology.  Well, I think I've come to a decision.  Mary Ann and I have been discussing this for the last few days, and I think I'm going to pursue an MFA in creative writing.  You'll notice that this is neither the pastoral track nor the PhD track.  There are PhD options in creative writing, but most programs just offer the terminal MFA.

How did I come to this decision, you ask?  By weighing the options, of course!  I looked at PhD work and realized that I could not really get excited about Moral Theology.  I had also come to the conclusion that the pastorate was not the place for me a long time ago.  Then I took a long look at my writing abilities, and I came to the conclusion that I'm a better "creative writer" than I am a theologian.  So the "subjective experience" criterion was definitely in the MFA's favor.

Then I thought about how I feel alive when I'm writing fiction.  I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile.  Like I'm where I'm supposed to be.  It's a spectacular feeling, and one I'm not used to.  I realized then that God designed me to write.  That's how I'm built.  And if I can put in a commercial for Covenant Seminary here, this place has really helped me come to grips with how God made me, and how he can use the arts for his glory.  Coming here for the MDiv was worth it, even if I won't be using the degree in the expected way.

To continue the process I had a conversation with Mary Ann a few days back.  I was still clinging to the idea that I might use the PhD as my primary goal, but keep the MFA as a side option.  During that conversation she helped me realize that practically speaking the PhD was not all that much better than the MFA.  Both the PhD and the MFA will open up teaching jobs, the PhD in theology and religious studies, and the MFA in creative writing.  Neither field has huge demand, but MFA programs are popping up all over.  There is more growth there, I think.  Also, if I get the MFA jobs in the book industry open up a bit for me.  I could get an editing job more easily than before.  Theology doesn't offer a similar non-professorial option.  I know there are think-tanks, but there are certainly more publishers than there are think-tanks.  So there's that.

I also think I stand a better chance of getting into an MFA program with funding than I do a similarly funded PhD program.  As I said before, I'm a better writer than a theologian.  The question is, of course, which program?  I've started trying to figure that out, but that's a post for another day.