The Time Draws Near, The Writer Readies Himself . . . Kinda . . .

MFA application season approaches. I still don't feel like I have a great writing sample, but I've come to the conclusion I never will. I will never feel like I have written well enough until I get an acceptance letter, and even then I'll think, "whew, I snuck one past them." That's the trouble with finding your self-image as a writer in the opinions of others.

Honestly, I do think the stories I've written are good. The fact that not everyone agrees highlights the subjective nature of reading fiction. That's what makes me nervous about MFA applications. I can't be guaranteed a spot by just getting a certain score on the GRE (which I still need to take). I've been recently that I will just stop worrying about others opinions (within reason) and write what I believe God is leading to write.

The good news for today is that I finished the first draft of "Miracles for Americans." It needs a lot of work, but it's good to actually get to the end of a story. It's my longest story so far, coming in at 19 pages and around 7200 words, but I'm hoping to lop a bit of that off. So I'll be editing that and taking another pass at "Come on, Casper" to look over some changes I made a month or two ago. Hopefully I'll be able to communicate the humor I intended in"Miracles." I haven't had a lot of experience at humor writing, so we'll see how that goes. It'll never be a laugh riot, but I think it will have a lighter tone than "Casper."

He Thinks as He Types

I'm at the library right now. It's time to write, but I'm having a hard time bringing myself into the 'writerly mindset,' whatever that may be. It's that post-lunch energy dip, I guess. It's annoying because I have these times carved out to write every day, and if I don't do it now then I'll get nothing. But the ol' brain is in sleep mode.

Besides, I'm not sure what I'd write right now. I can always do VFO, but Rex is alerady working something I sent him a few days ago so I feel kinda 'caught up.' It's a dangerous feeling, but I'm going with it. I'd like to do some short story work, but I don't want to do any more editing on "Come On, Casper" until my group of readers give me their feedback (Thanks for yours, by the way, Mary Ann and Rex. You were both quite helpful). I could try and figure out a title, but I don't want to spend two hours on just that. I can brainstorm for titles while I clean at work tonight, or do my security runs.

I have a bunch of story ideas, but I don't want to work on another story where the protagonist is a jerk. I'd like to do something with a pleasant lead character, but I most of my ideas involve bad things happening big jerks. I do have one idea, though, that might fit the bill. But I've started on it before and it didn't feel right. All I have is a fairly bare concept. I guess I could work on plotting that story . . . I don't have to jump right into the first draft of the thing.

I think that's what I'll do. Thanks for helping me figure this stuff out, guys.

Joshua Duncan: Now with Productivity!!

It's only just June and already I feel like I've had a full summer. For one thing, I've been working a lot these days. Relatively speaking, I guess. My hours still don't equal full time employment. Still, it's more than I've worked (outside of class) since I got here. It's taken up a lot of time I would have liked to use for other good things (GRE study, writing, family time). But enough of the whiny stuff!

One great thing about this summer is the amount of time I've had to actually write--and the fact that I've utilized that time to do so. I've written the first couple of installments of the webcomic I'm doing with Rex Queems, and he e-mailed me today to express his excitement with them. That's always a bonus.

Not only that, but I've actually finished a story. An eleven pager, no less! I know of writers who could weave an eleven pager before breakfast, but nearly everything I've written fiction-wise has been fairly short. There were one or two longer pieces, but they got clunky and are in need of a good trim. So eleven pages is a good length for me. It gets me over halfway to a number of the page requirements for MFA applications as well, so that's bonus number two.

It's quite nice. After failing to write anything in the early months of this year I've made serious headway on a couple of long-standing projects. It's really a lovely feeling. I'm seriously reconsidering my love affair with procrastination.

"It's not you, sweetheart. It's me."

I like the sound of that.

I Didn't Even Have to Use My AK . . .

I'd have to say it was a good couple of days.

My goodness, it feels good to sit down at the computer and write. Blogging is fun and all, but I'm not passionate about it like I am about fiction (as evidenced by this being only the fourth post this month). It has been sooo sweet. So sweet, in fact that I'm going to describe it to you.

DAY ONE:

I got a bit of a late start in the morning. Still working out the kinks in the schedule. Still, I sat down and worked on VFO. I actually sat down and worked on Vintage Furniture and Oddities for the first time in ages. It was all character background and concept development, but it was a lot of fun and it's pushing me in the right direction. I don't want to start a project like this without understanding my characters or having a decent plan as to where I'm going.

As an aside, I think that's been one of the problem's I've had with VFO. It started as a writing excercise I gave myself. I wanted to write 500 words and make up the story as a I went along. That became a problem once Rex Queems and I talked about doing VFO together. It was no longer a thing I could play with whenever I want and with no pressure. But those days are over! Developing the concept in more detail was nigh unto exhilerating.

Then I ate lunch.

After lunch, Day One took a downward turn. I worked for a couple of hours on the stuff I want to use for my MFA writing sample. HORROR. I couldn't write a word. "Come On, Casper" didn't flow at all. I actually tried my hand at a bunch of the stories I have unfinished on my laptop. Nothing. That was a discouraging afternoon.

DAY TWO:

I decided to do "Come On, Casper" in the morning this time, hoping that my mind would be a bit more fresh. What I didn't realize, though, was that the 'freshness' wasn't the issue. The issue was that I was so worried about theme and structure that I got stymied. I've been reading John Gardner's On Becoming a Novelist, and it really helped remind me that I was primarily doing this to tell stories. After that, a new direction for the story emerged and I worked happily through the morning.

Lunch again!

More VFO in the afternoon, and it just kept getting better. I got a handle on something that will be integral to the storyline; something that will provide direction and (I hope) suspense as the strip continues. Hopefully I'll be able to actually get to some of the writing soon. Anyway, day two was excellent.

DAY THREE:

Day three was a bit of a problem because I had to do some work this morning. That meant the morning session was out so we could get school and everything in.

And lunch.

The afternoon was truncated as well because I had a work meeting, but once that meeting ended I got right to it. I decided to go with "Come On Casper" rather than VFO because I wanted to keep yesterday's juices flowing. Happily, the story continued very well. I'm not cranking out tons of pages, but the story is moving along and I like the language and the direction (right now at least . . . ask me again tomorrow).

Tomorrow will be DAY FOUR. I'll miss the morning session again, but I'm looking forward to another couple of productive hours tomorrow afternoon. It'll be VFO, I think, so I can keep things moving.

Creating makes me happy. Doing that for a living . . . that would be a beautiful life.

A Mini-Meditation on Writing

I should be doing something productive right now, but I'm not. I'm blogging. It's not that I think blogging is a waste of time; it's more like I have a number of things I could be doing. Like school reading. Paper writing. Heck, I could even be watching Princess Mononoke, which I rented today. At least that would get my imagination going.

I'm a big fan of the imagination. I guess that's why I keep wanting to add elements to the story I'm writing for Children's Lit this semester. It began as a straightforward LotR-esque adventure story, but as I've thought more and more about it--and watched a few Miyazaki movies--I've wanted to expand the world. I want to crack open the top of my head (metaphorically) and build a world that amazes. I don't want to populate a fantasy world with elves and dwarves and orcs, though there's nothing wrong with doing that. I want to bend categories. I want to invent critters that hang in the imagination long after you've read their stories. I want to blend the stuff of differing historical eras into one and make it seem as natural as breathing. That, to me, sounds exciting.

I haven't abandoned adult fiction, though. "Come on Casper" is still in the works. It's just not something I'm working on for a class these days. That story is a different kind of challenge. It's more about structure and getting the language just right . . . not giving away too much before the end of the story, etc. Of course, as I typed that, I recognized that children's lit requires all that too. I just don't get to 'play around' as much with "Come on Casper."

Is it less fun then? Yes and no. It's not a blast like inventing monsters and other whimsical doodads, but there's an intense pleasure that comes from actually constructing a story and using structural elements to guide the reader when the subject matter doesn't make reading the story 'fun.' That's what I like about adult lit. Still, though, I plan on incorporating the fantastic into my 'serious' adult fiction later. I just have to figure out how to work it out.

OK. Time to be productive.

Writing Update: "Come on, Casper"

I've posted lately about submitting stories, researching MFAs and plain ol' nonsense, so I thought I'd make a post about how my writing is going. Of course, I wouldn't make this post unless there was news, so I wanted to say I'm pleased to announce I've finished the first draft of a story. Not huge news, I know, but news nonetheless.

The story, now titled "Come On, Casper" but due for a name change, weighs in at about 1700 words. Much of what I do seems to fall in that range. That total will go up or down depending on how the editing process goes, but I wouldn't expect much fluctuation.

It seems odd to me that I worked on "Keep Thinking, Keep Moving" for one day and it hit just under 1000 words, while I've worked on "Come On, Casper" on and off for a couple of months and it's 1700. I guess I'll never write a 20 page short story. I'm not sure why that is. I'll have to think about it.

Anyway, I think the story has some potential, but it needs a good hearty tweak or two. The structure is basically there, and the thread of the story as well, but it needs shaping and polishing. That's still a new process to me. I never used to edit the stories I wrote. I suppose that's why I never considered them worth keeping. I want my stories to be worth keeping, though, so editing is a necessity. Thanks for reading, and I'll keep you posted.