A Breakfast Tragedy

I went to open my cereal this morning--a new box. Carefully, I pushed my finger underneath the cardboard tab. I gingerly scooted said finger to the right, in order to preserve the integrity of the cardboard tab. It helps in the resealing process.

But, as you might predict, my efforts were fruitless. My finger tore through that fragile box top as though passing through the air unimpeded. My cereal is compromised.

And THAT, my friends, is how you know that General Mills hates you.

Writerly Frustrations

If I could just write 1000 good words a day, I would be so happy that I would wet not just my pants, but everyone else's too.

Two Gross-Out Haikus

Here are two Gross-Out Haikus stemming from the same incident. I'm thinking of making these a significant part of my writing sample.

Finn's oranges, juice
and pizza revolt, dripping
down in my pocket

My Steeler's T-Shirt
Piled high with half-gnawed foodstuffs
The Superbowl one